I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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