Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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