If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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