Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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