goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
