Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
