Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
