How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
