Porn is love you can see.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
