I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need water and some morals
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
