we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
