so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
