Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
