so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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