how can u be prego again
420 ftw
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
