i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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