u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize