He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
