You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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