Who did Billy Mays play for?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
