since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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