he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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