the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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