the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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