you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize