I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
MIDGETS
????
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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