Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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