I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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