Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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