I wanna bring you to show and tell
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
