Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Someone shit on the floor
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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