Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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