Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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