You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
