I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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