Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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