my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize