He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize