I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
