I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
