it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
