just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
