GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
