i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
