I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
