Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
