Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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