Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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