Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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