So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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