the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dicks are not precious.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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