is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
