laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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