just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
