Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Randomize
