the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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