That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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