We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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