Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
