Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Oh god it's open bar.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
