Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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